Give in Without Giving Up

Give in Without Giving Up!!!
What do you do when it feels like there is no light at the end of the tunnel? When everything is in doubt and life's possibilities seem empty? When you watch world events transpire over which you have no control and film and music idols, once seemingly immortal, senselessly succumb to cancer or drugs?

The economy is uncertain. The future of your environment is uncertain. The future of your health is uncertain.

The more dismal you feel, the more you panic. As you panic, the more prone you are to illness in body and mind. The cycle accelerates and intensifies until you feel helpless and hopeless.

What do you do when you feel stuck between living in fear or not living at all?

I recently had this very conversation with my taxi driver in Turkey. For some reason, we started talking about the most beautiful places to go in the country. And while he mentioned a few places that he loved most, he also said that he could no longer enjoy these places because he was unable to take pleasure in anything. He complained that he felt trapped in a dark place and was unsure if he would ever get out.

He had lost his job over two years ago, followed by his house, two cars and wife of 20 years. He drove a taxi out of necessity, not out of choice. It paid the bills, just barely. The war had taken the life of his son. His new girlfriend was just diagnosed with breast cancer. He feared he would lose her too. He used to write. Now, he could not find words. He used to sing. Now, he could not find his voice. He prayed every day for God to help, but no help had come. He tried to "think positive", but only negative thoughts appeared.

"I don't know what to do anymore," he said, before apologizing for throwing his problems my way. "How can I keep going if I don't know that everything will eventually turn out well?"

"We cannot control the future, " I said. "I am not a fortune-teller and I cannot know what any specific outcome will be. I can know, however, that if you panic or feel hopeless, it is not going to help anything, but rather make the situation worse."

I told him that he had every right to feel panicked and depressed. The truth is, I explained, that it was physiologically impossible to think positively when he was deep in stress and fear. Hormones and the other biochemical changes in the mind and body were keeping him from being able to do so. It is as if he was trying to stop shivering when feeling cold. "You cannot access good behaviors and positive emotions when you are deep in the fear response. It is like trying to drive your car without any gas," I explained.

"The solution is to surrender," I told him.

"Give up and die?" He asked.

"No," I answered. "Give in and live."

I continued by explaining that 'surrender' meant to stop fighting or struggling and allow himself to simply receive, like a fetus does in the mother's womb. He had to allow himself to imagine that he was receiving all the magic, power and support that the universe has to offer, filling him up, so that he could then find the strength and courage to face life.

I told him to imagine an image of a mother made of light, with her wings spread wide, holding him like an infant, rocking and cradling him, while saying these words:

"You are loved. You are valued. The support you need is here." He should say this over and over, for as long as he wished.

I instructed him to do this exercise after he prayed and any other time he felt fear, panic or negativity rising up. If he did, he might find that as he changed on the inside, his life or at least the way he acted in his life, would change in a positive way too.

By doing this exercise enough times, I explained, his unconscious mind might take in the experience as real. In effect, he would essentially be reprogramming old beliefs of scarcity, of not being enough, or having enough of all that he needs. As his beliefs change, attitudes, behaviors and interactions with others change. Rather than being shut down and shut out, he could be open to his own abilities and the resources others could offer. The possibilities become endless rather than pointless.

"Will I get my old job back?" he asked?

"I can't tell you that," I answered. "You might find yourself doing something else entirely. Whatever it is though," I added, "you may find yourself content and able to appreciate and take pleasure again. You will find your words and perhaps your voice will discover a beautiful melody. It is through our suffering and the depths of despair that we uncover greatness."

"Did you ask for help this evening? I mean, why is it do you think, that we are having this conversation?" I asked. "Yes," he answered, "I did."

"Well then", I continued. "I offer you a wish that all the love and support the universe has to offer find their way to you".

A little gleam came into his eye -- perhaps a tear or perhaps a shred of hope -- and with a smile on his face he said, "Today I will go to the synagogue and pray for you too. I will pray that you also receive all the support and love you need to continue on your path; to inspire others like me to remember that we are ultimately loved, not punished."

I never got his name, but in that moment in time, his heart opened. Mine did too.

In these difficult times, all we can do is to surrender, give in, and open our hearts to one another, to receive and give. Love is the source of our survival

Love is any of a number of emotions related to a sense of strong affection[1] and attachment. The word love can refer to a variety of different feelings, states, and attitudes, ranging from generic pleasure ("I loved that meal") to intense interpersonal attraction ("I love my wife"). This diversity of uses and meanings, combined with the complexity of the feelings involved, makes love unusually difficult to consistently define, even compared to other emotional states.

As an abstract concept, love usually refers to a deep, ineffable feeling of tenderly caring for another person. Even this limited conception of love, however, encompasses a wealth of different feelings, from the passionate desire and intimacy of romantic love to the nonsexual emotional closeness of familial and platonic love[2] to the profound oneness or devotion of religious love.[3] Love in its various forms acts as a major facilitator of interpersonal relationships and, owing to its central psychological importance, is one of the most common themes in the creative arts.

The English word "love" can have a variety of related but distinct meanings in different contexts. Often, other languages use multiple words to express some of the different concepts that English relies mainly on "love" to encapsulate; one example is the plurality of Greek words for "love." Cultural differences in conceptualizing love thus make it doubly difficult to establish any universal definition.[4]
Although the nature or essence of love is a subject of frequent debate, different aspects of the word can be clarified by determining what isn't love. As a general expression of positive sentiment (a stronger form of like), love is commonly contrasted with hate (or neutral apathy); as a less sexual and more emotionally intimate form of romantic attachment, love is commonly contrasted with lust; and as an interpersonal relationship with romantic overtones, love is commonly contrasted with friendship, although other definitions of the word love may be applied to close friendships in certain contexts.
When discussed in the abstract, love usually refers to interpersonal love, an experience felt by a person for another person. Love often involves caring for or identifying with a person or thing, including oneself (cf. narcissism). In addition to cross-cultural differences in understanding love, ideas about love have also changed greatly over time. Some historians date modern conceptions of romantic love to courtly Europe during or after the Middle Ages, although the prior existence of romantic attachments is attested by ancient love poetry.[5]

Buddhism
In Buddhism, Kāma is sensuous, sexual love. It is an obstacle on the path to enlightenment, since it is selfish. Karuṇā is compassion and mercy, which reduces the suffering of others. It is complementary to wisdom and is necessary for enlightenment. Adveṣa and mettā are benevolent love. This love is unconditional and requires considerable self-acceptance. This is quite different from ordinary love, which is usually about attachment and sex and which rarely occurs without self-interest. Instead, in Buddhism it refers to detachment and unselfish interest in others' welfare.
The Bodhisattva ideal in Mahayana Buddhism involves the complete renunciation of oneself in order to take on the burden of a suffering world. The strongest motivation one has in order to take the path of the Bodhisattva is the idea of salvation within unselfish, altruistic love for all sentient beings.
Hinduism
In Hinduism, kāma is pleasurable, sexual love, personified by the god Kamadeva. For many Hindu schools, it is the third end (artha) in life. Kamadeva is often pictured holding a bow of sugar cane and an arrow of flowers; he may ride upon a great parrot. He is usually accompanied by his consort Rati and his companion Vasanta, lord of the spring season. Stone images of Kaama and Rati can be seen on the door of the Chenna Keshava temple at Belur, in Karnataka, India. Maara is another name for kāma.
In contrast to kāma, prema – or prem – refers to elevated love. Karuna is compassion and mercy, which impels one to help reduce the suffering of others. Bhakti is a Sanskrit term, meaning "loving devotion to the supreme God." A person who practices bhakti is called a bhakta. Hindu writers, theologians, and philosophers have distinguished nine forms of bhakti, which can be found in the Bhagavata Purana and works by Tulsidas. The philosophical work Narada Bhakti Sutras, written by an unknown author (presumed to be Narada), distinguishes eleven forms of love.